6/19/2018 0 Comments Sacred Space I spent the last five days taking care of my dear friend’s two little ones so she could attend (and be a gorgeous bridesmaid!) in her baby brother’s out-of-state wedding. Highlights included a lot of fun playing outside, eating popsicles at 9 in the morning to cool off (Dang, Virginia, why you so hot??), and playing hide and seek. Anyway, essentially, I was functioning as a mom to three for the past five days and as they pulled off with their momma this morning I let out a sigh. A big, tired, accomplished sigh. I single-handedly kept three kids alive, fed, clean, and mostly happy for five days (by the grace of God and with some help from my ever present sidekick of Coffee). And then I went to the bathroom and saw that, yet again, we’re not pregnant. And ya know what? It was O.K. Later, I sat in the driveway while my one and only played 'construction' in the driveway with his trucks and our gravel. I told him to look at his pinwheel because there was a breeze going in the shade and on cue, it slowly started to twirl and then spin into a blur and the smile on his face was just... The. Most. Joyful. Thing. Ever. He wanted to go for a walk, so I obliged and we took along the 4th of July pinwheel as we went up the hill and around the culdesac at a snail’s pace, with him pausing every few steps to point out a ‘kip-pup’ truck or an ant or to just look up at his twirling shiny pinwheel and laugh. And I realized this is a sacred and special time. I am aching and praying and trying to make him a big brother, but when that happens, this time is Gone. It will never be “just Mommy and Mark” again. Siblings are a beautiful gift, but the pace of our family will forever be changed. I did the same thing when we were trying to become parents for the first time. I spent so much of my time obsessing over my desire for gift of motherhood, I neglected to enjoy the time where we were a family of two. And I miss those days. So bad. I love being a mom, but I miss being able to give my full, undivided attention to my best friend. I need to slow down and just appreciate the beauty of our life right here, right now. Because it is so unbelievably beautiful. Leaving you with a tune of one of my great musical Loves... Hope it wraps you up.
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September 2019
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