7/31/2017 2 Comments Guest Post: A Wisconsin Home-birthToday, I am sharing the birth story of a friend I've been blessed to find through a Facebook Due Date group for Catholic Mommas. We've shared (and still share) so much over threads within the group and became first time mommas together in the Spring of 2016. Her birth story made me cry (in a good way!) and gave me inspiration of things to try 'next time.' I hope you enjoy too!
My midwife recommended that I write out my birth story and my thoughts on my birth. I already have run over it so many times in my head that I am more than happy to oblige. Monday morning around 3:30am I had started feeling what felt like a menstrual cramp in my lower back turn into a charlie horse in my stomach and run all the way to the top of my belly. It kept coming every 20 min or so. I started whimpering because it was quite intense. My husband, T, sleepily put his hand on my shoulder trying to comfort me as I started to cry that I wouldn’t be able to do this if this was early labor and it only got more painful from here on out. (As it turns out, these were my hardest contractions to manage. It was only at the very end did I think the contractions were comparable, but it might have been because I didn’t have time to breathe through these early ones and woke up in the peak of the contraction). I decided I was starving so I got up and showered and made myself a protein shake. Then I went back to bed. I had another contraction that T tried to comfort me through that ended up with me in the bathroom puking. I texted my boss that I wasn’t sure if I would be at work today but not to count on it, then texted my midwife that my contractions were 9 min apart and lasting a minute, and then went back to bed. My contractions then stopped from 7:30 to 8:30. I had no idea what was going on and if I was in labor or not. We decided T would go to work as normal. My contractions soon picked back up and jumped to 3 min apart but were much, much lower in intensity. This is what my midwife considered the onset of labor. I called T to come back home. At 11:30 I called LeAnn and told her my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart and lasting 30 seconds, but that I didn’t think they were doing anything because they were too easy compared to what I was feeling earlier. I told her T and I decided to take a walk and then I would nap. She thought that sounded like a good idea. Suddenly, though, I felt super tired, so we decided to take the nap first. On the bed, contractions picked up in intensity but slowed to 9 minutes apart again. After 3 contractions or so, T and I decided I managed the pain way worse on the bed and moved downstairs. I laid over the couch for about an hour, and then at 1:30pm, I realized they’d been 3 minutes apart for quite some time. Up until this point, I wasn’t convinced I was in real labor, and I still wasn’t sure, but I told T to call LeAnn just to get her thoughts. He soon handed the phone off to me and I told LeAnn the contractions were stronger, but not as bad as I thought they would be pain-wise. We went back and forth a bit, but ended the conversation with her deciding she would take her time but would come on over. This is when I kind of got excited because LeAnn seemed to think I was in labor and that made me think that maybe this was the real deal. She got to the house around 2:15 and my contractions were 2-4 minutes apart. She said that I started vocalizing (letting out a low moan) with each contraction around 2:25 and around 2:50 she asked if I wanted her to check my dilation. I was so nervous to be checked because I was scared I wouldn’t be dilated much since the contractions weren’t that intense, but were hard enough that I’d be discouraged if I’d made no progress. But I was so excited when she said I was between 5-6 centimeters and 75% effaced. One of my favorite memories of labor was seeing the look on T's face and hearing him say he was so proud of me. He was so incredibly supportive and it boosted my morale immensely. I had a contraction shortly after, and LeAnn said this was when I started to say, “I love you, baby” or “I love you, T” with each contraction. Allison, LeAnn’s medical assistant, had arrived around 3:30 during the one minute attempt I had tried to walk around outside. It was too windy for me and I felt like I’d tense up in the cold. Back inside, LeAnn and T started setting up the birth pool, and then Allison took over for T. Then T stayed with me and supported me through each contraction. LeAnn thought it was really funny when T and I did a slow dance type position and the hardwood floor kept creaking as we swayed back and forth. At one point, I decided to go to my hands and knees. I stayed there for awhile and I kept puking. In this position I could feel the baby move down my spine toward my tailbone. and lower into my hips. It didn’t hurt and there wasn’t a ton of pressure, but just a general feeling of fullness. It excited me that I could feel the baby making progress. I also got hungry at this time and T brought me a fig bar. I was unimpressed with his selection at first but had a bite and I just absolutely loved it. For the next few contractions, I remember thinking, “I can have another bite of that when I’m done!” I just kept my eye on it the whole time and anticipated my next little bit of fig bar. After a while, my arms got tired and I wanted to lay down. LeAnn told T to keep me walking. Walking sounded boring, so I was relieved when my contractions were close together because it gave me an excuse not to walk very far. I would go to the bed, then the 30 feet back to the table, then back to the bed, then back to the table. Finally I was leaning over the couch, and it felt like my contractions were double peaking and I wasn’t getting a break in between. I started to puke again (a lot) and it was a welcome distraction from the contractions I was having. Around this time I realized my water hadn’t broken yet. My sister had told me a tip she had gleaned from my other sister about squatting during a contraction. LeAnn told me I could lay down if I wanted to, and I had one contraction leaning over the bed where I decided to try the squats. I did 4-5 squat attempts through the contraction. It wasn’t a ton of fun so I only did it one time before I got on the bed with T beside me. On my second contraction on the bed, I felt a pop (T heard it too) and then a gush of water. Water broke! I started yelling, “Water! Water!” and then T and LeAnn moved me to the living room where the birth pool was. It was 5:14 when LeAnn checked me and I was 9.5 cm with an anterior lip. I started to feel like I wanted to push, and LeAnn said that I could if I wanted. At 5:25 I started forcefully praying in the form of, “This is HARD. GOD HELP ME!” Up until this point, I thought the pain was very manageable. The pushing, however, made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I thought I was screaming but T said I wasn’t at all, just moaning and grunting. Looking back, I don’t think I hated it because it hurt that bad, but because it just felt gross to me and that made it harder for me to get through. The contractions were farther apart and I got more breaks, though, which was helpful. Each contraction, T gave me his hands to squeeze as I really needed something to grip. LeAnn checked me again at 5:36 and I was fully dilated. At 5:50 I got in the birth pool and I managed it a little better, but I started getting extremely hot. My birth team kept bringing me cold towels to help. A little after 6 I started to worry (seemed like I had been pushing forever) and asked LeAnn if I was fast enough for the baby to be okay, and she assured me that I was. LeAnn asked if I wanted to move to the bed since I was so hot. I was super indecisive because all I wanted was the baby out and didn’t care where I was. They moved me to the bed and literally two minutes later at 6:20, Baby W came out just screaming. It definitely burned but for such a short time and was such a relief to be done. LeAnn and Allison cleaned and did laundry, took down the birth pool, and gave the baby and me a bath. (She didn’t normally give baths to newborns but he had three big poos within the first hour of his life and looked like he had rolled in mud). LeAnn and her medical assistant Allison left just before midnight. I was so, so tired but having T and W so close to me was the best feeling ever. T was so proud of me, never grossed out by it all, and was so supportive. It was amazing to have him there with me. I was so excited and seeing him so excited made me even happier. He was such an amazing help with learning to breastfeed as well, and it was because of his research that he was able to show me a hold that helped W to consistently latch. My midwife gave him Husband of the Year award for breastfeeding support. She also said one of her favorite moments in labor was after the baby was born and T was helping her with something in the kitchen. She asked him what he thought, and he said, “It’s just so…PRIMAL!” So proud of my husband and baby. Now to adjust to this huge change in our lives!
2 Comments
6/15/2017 0 Comments Mark's Birth StoryI had an appointment for Friday, March 18th for an induction. The midwives I had received my prenatal care from could only deliver up to 42 weeks. Past that, I’d be handed over to an ob. The 18th would be 41w and 6d. The latest possible day they would allow me to wait for an induction. Knowing that induction of labor often leads to other interventions being necessary, I decided to do all I could to get things going as naturally as possible. I went for long walks every day. At my appointment on Tuesday of that week, I let the midwife strip my membranes. I ate spicy food. I bounced on my birth ball while I prayed the rosary. I had crazy dance parties by myself in the kitchen. I did all I could to tell baby it was time to evacuate. Since the membrane strip didn’t seem to have the desired effect, on Thursday morning, I drank a ‘birth cocktail’, a special concoction the midwives had prescribed. Having read several positive birth experiences online of other women who had taken the same mixture, I was feeling hopeful. We went for a long walk, I soaked in the tub and after making myself lunch, I settled down for a nap around 1:30. I hadn’t felt any contractions yet, so I was beginning to think I was one of the small percentage of women that the birth cocktail had no effect on. I was trying to accept the fact that I was going to be induced. I asked God to give me peace about it all. Induction or not, I was going to meet baby soon. After about 30 minutes of restless dozing, I was slammed by a contraction across my abdomen. It felt like a very intense menstrual cramp. I reached across the bed and dug my nails into Brian’s back to wake him up. I could barely talk, but I told him I thought I was having a contraction. He got the timer going and timed it at about 7 minutes before it let up. He asked me if I thought we should call the midwives. Before I could respond, another contraction hit and again, lasted 6 or 7 minutes. He began to gather clothes for me so I could change out of my pjs. Before I could even take off my pants, I was hit by another long and intense contraction (we found out later that this is typical of ‘cocktail takers’... to be hit hard and fast before things slow down a bit and establish a typical pattern). Brian got the midwife on the phone and she listened to me experience a few contractions. At her suggestion, I took a shower and Brian got things ready to go to the hospital. I asked Brian to look for a necklace my friend, Margaret Leo, had made for me. I had babysat for her for years and she had passed on due to a heart condition. I truly believe she is a saint and I had been asking her to pray for me and our baby throughout the pregnancy. When Brian couldn’t find the necklace, I was upset, but I sent some quick prayers up for her intercession as we got into the car. On the way to the hospital, I continued to have contractions in my abdomen and back, but these were shorter and more manageable. As we walked into the hospital, I had to stop and breath through them, sometimes taking a seat if a bench or windowsill was available. We stopped at the midwives’ office first for a cervical check to see how far along I was before committing to Labor and Delivery. Brenda, the midwife, watched me experience a few contractions and in between checked me for dilation and effacement. At that time, I was 7 cm and my bag of waters was ‘bulging.’ Brian and I got excited at the idea of a St. Paddies’ Day baby. He went out to get our stuff while a nurse walked me over to L&D. Sidenote: I told Brian at the beginning of it all, that I did NOT want to be told how long I had been in labor, I had no interest in knowing the time, and I didn’t want to hear that so and so had texted or called to check on our progress. I wanted to be present in the moment and I didn’t want to get discouraged if things didn’t progress as fast as we all thought they would. Hence, the timeline of my story might be way off. Once we were all checked in, I changed into a gown and Brian and I walked the halls to try and pick up contractions and encourage dilation. During contractions, I’d lean on him or grab the wall bar and squat into it with his support. Contractions were intense and uncomfortable, but at that point, I wouldn’t say my pain was unbearable. It might have been the excitement at the fact that labor had started and I hadn’t needed induction that made them feel that way. After about 40 minutes of walking, we returned to the room and Brenda suggested relaxing in the tub, which sounded awesome. She filled the tub and set up a lavender diffuser. I got in the tub and she brought in some twinkle lights and battery operated votives. I joked about how ‘romantical’ the bathroom felt and she responded, “Well, you’re about the meet the love of your life!” I told Brian I didn’t feel that labor was all that bad and that I wanted to have 20 more kids. In a few hours, I redacted that statement. After an hour or two in the tub, Brenda suggested getting out and getting checked again for dilation. I was turning a bit pruny and my contractions had reduced both in intensity and frequency, so I agreed. I wanted to get vertical again and try to pick things back up. She checked and I had dilated to 9. We tried the labor ball, the peanut ball, and leaning over the back of the bed. Things still seemed a little ‘stalled,’ so Brenda suggested rupturing my waters. We discussed the risks and benefits and Brian asked for another hour of labor before doing so. After another hour of slow labor and contractions that I could talk/walk through, we agreed to have my water broken. Apparently my sac was pretty thick and it took some ‘doing’ to break, but after it was broken, contractions began to pick up again. I was still at 9 centimeters and there was a lip of my cervix that couldn’t be budged. We tried walking the halls and squatting during contractions to move things along. Eventually, things started to get more intense. The contractions weren’t predictable anymore and varied greatly in length and intensity. We got back in the tub with me kneeling. I think this was when I was experiencing transition. I vomited. I told Brian I couldn’t do it anymore. I just wanted the baby out. He encouraged me and reminded me that emotions like this meant pushing was near. I got out of the tub and got checked again (?). I was still at 9. Brenda said she could feel the baby moving his head and trying to figure out how to descend. She suggested pitocin to help things along. Brian and I did NOT want to use pitocin as I feared I wouldn’t be able to handle the higher intensity of pit induced contractions. Again, we discussed benefits and risks and Brian asked for more time. Baby’s heartrate was strong and consistent, so there wasn’t any distress or hurry. At about 6 or 7 in the morning, I was still at 9. Contractions had again reduced in intensity. All three of us were pretty miserable and exhausted by then. I think I had vomited at least twice more and was feeling weak. I hadn’t been able to sleep all night. We discussed pitocin again and this time agreed that maybe it was necessary. Brenda would start me on the lowest dose and if I became uncomfortable, I could come off it and have it out of my system in 20 minutes. While she went to got get the nurse to get me set up with an IV, I did squats with one foot up on the side of the bed and hip swivels while I attempted to pray a rosary. I must have looked ridiculous. But I was desperate to get things going again. I was scared at this point. My goal of an all natural labor was going in a different direction and I was worried we’d just need more and more intervention after the pit started. A new nurse named Lisa came on shift and came in to get the IV in and start pitocin. As she was prepping all the materials, she asked if we had tried laying upside down at all. Apparently, that could ‘reset’ the way baby was approaching my cervix and possibly pick labor back up again. Brian asked if we could try that before starting the pitocin. Lisa checked with Brenda and she agreed to give it a whirl. I laid on my side with a peanut ball between my legs to open my pelvis. They tilted the head of the bed down to the floor and almost immediately a huge contraction hit me and stayed. Lisa said that I should stay like that for 30 minutes or so for maximum effect. After 15 minutes of a painful continuous contraction in my back, I begged to be tilted back up (I later learned this was a technique typically reserved for use on women with epidurals in because of the pain). At that point, labor picked back up and changed. Brenda was supposed to get off shift and have another Midwife take over, but at this point, things were so intense and exciting, she knew the baby was close and she wanted to see it to the end. The contractions were all in my back and completely and totally un-ignorable and inescapable. Brian and Brenda both tried counter pressure, massage and stroking but I was miserable. I labored on my knees leaning over the back of the bed. Brenda asked if I felt a need to push yet. I didn’t. I thought maybe standing in the shower with the water hitting the small of my back might help with the pain, so we did that for about 20 minutes. I started feeling like maybe I needed to push and Brenda noticed the noises I was making changed. She felt as I pushed. The baby still wasn’t moving down. At this point, I had been laboring for over 20 hours. I hadn’t slept and everything I had tried to eat, I had thrown up. I was exhausted and dehydrated. My pushing wasn’t effective. We discussed pitocin and then Lisa suggested some sugar water via IV to give me energy. We jumped on that idea and within 5 minutes of receiving fluids (and Brian putting ice cold washcloths on my forehead and the back of my neck… HEAVEN) I had renewed energy. I pushed on my side. I pushed on my knees. I tried pushing in the ‘traditional’ position with Brian and Lisa supporting my legs. I used the squat bar and grip handles on the side of the bed. Lisa counted for me through contractions so that I was using the full length and strength of each one. I stood up and squatted during contractions. At some point, Brenda checked me and told me she could feel an ear. Baby was close!!! She suggested the birth stool. With my first push, I felt enormous pressure and stretching. I told her that I thought his head was coming out. Brenda put on gloves and laid down on the floor to get a closer look. Lisa made a call to the nurses for a ‘Baby catch” in our room. I know I should have taken my time and pushed slowly, but the pressure was too great and I was too excited. I wanted baby OUT and I was so close. I think I pushed two or three (maybe 4) more times with burning and stretching with each one. I was making noises unlike anything I had ever made before. Low grunts, roars, and moaning. And then I saw him slip out and land on the pillow beneath me. I reached down, picked him up and put him on my lap. He immediately tried to latch onto my arm. My first words were “He’s so big!!!” All the nurses started to guess at his weight. Brenda told Brian to snap some pictures with our camera and he did. I was in shock and all the pain and frustration I had felt over the past 22 hours was gone. I was crazy in love with this slippery, squishy little (big) boy. After the cord stopped pulsing, I cut the cord and went to have some skin to skin time with him. After our first hour together, they weighed him at 10lbs 5 oz. No wonder he had taken so long to make his appearance! Brian told me afterwards that he too had been asking for Margaret’s intercession, specifically in the morning when things were so slow and we were all so exhausted. I truly believe Lisa (our nurse) was an answer to those prayers. Her energy and suggestions kept me going and ultimately got the baby out. Also, despite the long labor with Mark being ‘stuck’ for an extended period of time, his heart rate stayed strong and steady. He was never in distress. I really and truly believe it to be a miracle. Even though I didn’t have Margaret’s necklace with me, she was with us all along. |
Categories
|