8/22/2017 0 Comments Moms helping Moms...Hello, Dear Reader. I've missed you. And I've missed two Momma Musings Mondays. I am sorry. Last Monday, I was gone in the woods with my parents, four siblings, their spouses, and adorable babies. M got to be crazy with his cousins, eat ice cream from a cone, and play in the sand/ refuse to go in the water for the first time ever. I got to work on some crochet projects and work on finishing A Mother's Rule for Life. Yesterday, I was helping our new furry friend adapt to his new home (and new 'little brother'). His name is Chauncey. And he is pretty adorable and schnuggly and, Thank God, patient and gentle with our son.
Today, I wanted to share a podcast I was recently a part of... Nancy of Do Small Things With Love invited me to be a part of her Just One Small Thing Podcast and it was a BLAST. I love talking to other Catholic mommas and sharing in our common Joys and Struggles in this beautiful vocation. You can listen to the podcast here. The theme of the show is the importance of Mom to Mom support as well as reliance on the help we have from the Saints in heaven if we ask. To go along with that, I thought I would share some tidbits of wisdom I've gathered from other Catholic Mommas about those early days of motherhood... I wish someone had told me… (real Catholic mommas share the truth about the early days of motherhood) The first few weeks, the baby’s needs are Constant. And no matter how much you wanted to be a mom, you might get frustrated and resent the baby, This is normal. Every time you get used to something, baby will change it up on you. Figure out one self care thing you want to do for yourself every day: shower, nap, a hot cup of coffee etc. Communicate with your husband so he can make sure you get what you need. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your husband might not know what needs to be done. It's ok to let people help and to let things go a bit (tidying, etc) to recover properly. I made my c section recovery much harder by overdoing it. Take off as much time from work as possible and have the hubs do the same! It's so hard to transition to life with a baby...much less throwing work in there too. For many things in parenting, there is an "ideal" way to do things, but a lot of the time the ideal just doesn't work doesn't you or your family. That's okay. Do what works. If something isn't working, don't be afraid to try something different. Breastfeeding is a skill both of you have to learn how to do, so be patient with baby and yourself! Breastfeeding hurts for a while! Even with a perfect latch, your nerves and skin have to get used to a booby monster sucking on that area nearly constantly. It will get better! Re-Breastfeeding: If the pain seems unbearable,, talk to a lactation consultant and consider getting your child assessed for tongue and lips ties. Be sure to see someone who is trained to assess for them, because not all pediatricians are. You may need to see an ENT or pediatric dentist. Sometimes breastfeeding isn't easy! It is OK to struggle and seek help. Also, giving your baby formula does NOT make you a bad mom. Your hair falls out! Why doesn’t anyone tell people that?! I freaked out when my hair started falling out after my first. But it grows back! When we went through something particularly rough (sleepless nights, difficulty with naps, teething pain, trouble nursing...) It helped me so much to realize that this won't last forever. Knowing it would end made the struggles more bearable. Momma Readers: What's missing from the list? Comment below and share with the Momma-to-be-Readers!
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Y'all... Yesterday was Monday. And I forgot to post. In my defense, things have been a bit hectic here at home. We've had a bunch of orders come in for our Peaceful Birthbox and I am also prepping some to be ready for shipping for next week so that my husband can ship them out as needed while I am at the lake with my family (he's joining us part way through :-) ). We're also in the process of re-homing our dog and looking for a new one. Super emotional (and sometimes exciting process). Our current dog is lovely with adults and older kiddos, but not too keen on toddlers and we need to make a change before our son winds up with a scar. Still it's hard because he was my 'baby' before I had a human baby... ANYway, in honor of National Breastfeeding Week (which was a week ago... opps), here is my experience with breastfeeding. Mommas who have 'been there,' please share and comment below to share with mommas-to-be!! I had prepped. I had read (some of) La Leche League’s “Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.” I had watched those videos on youtube. You know the ones I am talking about (or maybe you don’t. I am pretty weird). The ‘Birth Crawl’ videos. Did you know, babies are *born* with the instinct to find your nipples and just go to town? You just make sure to do skin to skin as soon as possible after birth and give your little one some time to do the scoot. However, after my labor, which was average for a first birth but long for me, I was exhausted and weak. I hadn’t been able to eat anything during the labor and I was dehydrated. I had trouble lifting my 10lb 5 oz baby. I was afraid. If I couldn’t lift him, how could I hold him the right way to get the perfect latch so he could tell my body to start making milk? Also, one thing they don’t tell you, but I think you should know: If you tear at all during labor, you will be getting stitches immediately after birth. I am not trying to scare you, that’s just how it is and I wish someone had told me. So, here I was with my newborn son on my bare chest, legs spread in stirrups, sucking nitrous from a mask to deal with my discomfort, trying to get him to latch. I was so scared it wasn’t going to work if I didn’t keep trying *right then.* Looking back, I think I probably could (should!) have given myself a few minutes. Let my husband do some skin to skin. Let the midwife do her thing (stitches). Let the nurses weigh him and check his vitals. And then hold my son and float away to boobie town. I’ll know for next time. Anyway, within an hour of Mark being born, we had a check-in visit from the hospital’s lactation consultant and she said everything looked great. She gave us a bunch of fliers and a booklet to read over ‘when we go the chance’ and then was out the door. Another thing I wish someone had told me was how much time is spent with this little one attached to you those early days (weeks!!). I’d say 75% of our time in the hospital, he was sucking away. Maybe I was overly generous in offering (again, very anxious to ‘make it work’), but that’s how it was for us. Our first night home, he started screaming whenever he wasn’t attached. I was afraid I wasn’t making anything (hadn’t felt engorged yet and it was night Three!!). I turned to Dr. Google and *thankfully* stumbled upon KellyMom.com’s article on cluster feeding (MUST READ). Very simply: Cluster-feeding happens in conjunction with growth spurts. Babies typically have their first growth spurt between 3-6 days and when this happens, they want to nurse. All. The. Time. This is to tell your body to make more milk to meet the needs of your growing child. This knowledge was a huge relief for me. Finally: The soreness. La Leche League says that if you are ‘doing it right’, nursing shouldn’t ‘hurt.’ For me, with a baby with no lip or tongue tie and what I’d consider ‘average’ nipples, nursing *was* uncomfortable for the first week or so on and off. Even with a proper latch. It’s kind of like learning to play the guitar. Your fingers will hurt until callouses form. One thing that helped during those cluster feeding sessions was switching back and forth from side to side as often as I needed to to stay comfortable. I also avoided letting the shower stream hit me directly on my nipples (so sensitive!!!) and I used coconut oil as a moisturizer as often as needed(some babies develop a rash from this so keep an eye out!). Things did get better. With teething, there was some discomfort each time a new pair came it, but only for a week or so. Nursing in those early days is difficult. And frankly, kind of ‘thankless.’ But eventually, your baby starts to look at you while eating. And then, sometimes, they smile and milk spills out their mouth. Maybe, one day, they will even laugh so hard while nursing that milk comes out their nose (this happened to me!!). Stick with it and you will enjoy the bond that comes from this intimacy. Some parting tips:
8/3/2017 0 Comments Praying With IntentionI like to create a special intention for each decade as I pray a rosary. I find it helps with my focus during the prayers and enhances my reflection on each mystery. Some mysteries lend themselves very well to a clear ‘lesson’ and hence intention, while others are more difficult for me. My personal favorite set of mysteries are the Joyful Mysteries. This is not because I am an especially Joyful Person (working on it), but in my current station of life, as a wife and mother to a young one, I find them especially relatable. The First Mystery, The Annunciation: I pray for all women suffering from infertility… longing month after month for that second line on the pregnancy test. I pray for women who are experiencing an unplanned or ‘surprise’ pregnancy. That they can find peace and joy as their baby grows inside them. I also pray for NAPRO doctors and that NAPRO becomes widely recognized in the medical world. The Second Mystery, The Visitation: I pray for moms who are in that ‘waiting period’ of their pregnancy. Those for whom labor may start at any time. For peace and patience while waiting and a joyful and empowering birth experience. I also pray for women who are in those early days postpartum, especially those facing Postpartum Depression or Anxiety. May they experience the comfort of Mary’s presence through the company of friends and family. The Third Mystery, The Nativity: For all newborn babies, especially those in the NICU. For their families and the medical staff who provide care for them. And again, I like to pray for all those who ache for motherhood and feel pain and sadness when they see a baby. That their desire for a little miracle will be fulfilled. The Fourth Mystery, The Presentation: I like to pray for vocations. And for parents to encourage their children in a true discernment of their calling. And for an opening of their hearts especially if the call is to the religious life. Our children are gifts from God and they are his first. I pray for the humility to remember this always, no matter what. The Fifth Mystery, The Finding of Jesus in the Temple: This mystery is a little tricky for me, but upon further reflection, I decided this mystery should be offered for all parents who feel like they are ‘failing’ at parenthood. It might sound silly, but I find comfort in the fact that two saints messed up and lost their 12 year old for THREE DAYS. I also like to pray for children who are homeless, whether physically or spiritually. That they may find love and care and safety… Do you have special intentions for the Mysteries of the Rosary? Would you be willing to share them with me? 8/3/2017 1 Comment Labor Tips and TruthsHey There, Mommas and Mommas-to-Be. I am going to do something. I want to commit to giving you something worth reading and sharing with friends once a week. And today seems like the perfect day to start as I struggle to beat back the temptation to spend my son's nap time with a bowl of ice cream and some British Baking Show (KATIE!! It is ONE in the AFTERnoon! ICE CREAM? NOW?). And it allows me to use a highly Alliterative Title (see above). So here goes...
Real Moms Share Their Labor Tips and Truths: (first two are from my momma and my momma-in-law and were my mantras during my labor) They call it 'labor' for a reason. It’s hard work. Once the baby is in your arms, you won’t care anymore. You will have set ideals of what you want Labor and delivery to look like, but in the end what is important is that you and baby are safe. Sometimes ideals change, or plans change it's ok. You don't need it to go perfect, we can't exactly plan these things. Just because you change your mind during doesn't make you better or worse. It makes you the mom you need to be for your child. And that is ok! It is also ok to grieve an experience. It's ok things didn't go as you planned, and it's ok to be sad about it. However, find ways to talk about it and really admire the baby in your arms. Have a ‘code word’ that your husband knows for when you’re serious about a change in ‘the birth plan’ (in other words, yes I really do want X, even though we planned on Y) Your body is made to give birth. Don't fight against it, and just relax. When you feel like you can’t take anymore, you are close to holding your baby! Every baby is a miracle. Those of you who have labored before, what wisdom do you have to pass on to women facing labor for the first time? Let us "encourage one another and build each other up..." |
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